My Mind
by theshadowwithinyoursoul
Summary: With blank spaces in her memory and inexplicable blood on her hands, maybe the Justice League will be able to turn around a ruined girl's heart before she becomes something she doesn't even recognize. OC
1. Chapter 1

****Chapter 1: Chapter 1****

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A sharp intake of breath and a slow steady exhale reach the girl's ears.

'Where am I?'

Taking a step back, she hears the dull click of boots on concrete echo.

Her eyes shoot upwards, slowly beginning to make out a high arched ceiling. Her feet move backwards suddenly in surprise and she trips, reaching out a long hand to try and stop her clumsy fall.

The floor is made of concrete and marble, utterly unfamiliar and foreign. Her heart races and she desperately tries to make sense of everything around her. Noticing a sign being reflected on the ground from a window, she squints in the darkness trying to read the backwards, faded letters:

Gotham Bank.

Panic begins to set in and she glances down, releasing an audible gasp when she notices that she has not recollection of the clothes she's wearing.

Nor any, following that logic, of why she would be in the Gotham Bank.

Stomach beginning to churn uneasily, she reaches up to her face, feeling the soft cotton of a ski mask. She lets out a cry and suddenly stands, panicking. This isn't possible. I'm dreaming.

The last thing I remember is- oh. The flood of memories is overwhelming and her legs give way to crushing memories.

My mother. My last relative, my shoulder to lean on, my hand to hold, my teacher, my protector, my best friend, is gone. Tears spilt and landed angrily on the floor below. Her vision blurred with rage and tears and grief. I will kill them.

Strength surged through her veins, quickly halted by a sharp, shooting pain. Body quivering in pain and anguish, her eyes shut as her back arches and a hiss escaped between clenched teeth.

Then, everything went away. Feeling raw and scared, she warily took in her surroundings once more. The walls and furniture stretched upwards and the girl felt a hysterical giggle rising in her throat, wondering if this is how Alice felt after drinking a funny bottle labelled "drink me".

She glanced down and froze, stunned. Large black paws replaced her hands and a quick nervous swipe of her tongue revealed sharp canine teeth. "Oh god." The words slipped out in a whisper, "The injection, this is what it did to me." She paused, hysterical enough to just accept the reality and simply wonder how to change back human. Catching a glimpse in the windows, lit by the moon, she stared at the reflection of a large wolf, fur spiked and tense in the darkness.

Beyond the reflection, the no-longer girl suddenly recognized red and blue flashes becoming more prominent with every passing second.

She cursed, broken out of her shocked stupor and took a tentative step forward. The canine gait came naturally and she swung her head around to find a large door with an emergency glowing exit sign above it. The sounds of slamming doors and deep shouts from the other side of the wall were getting louder as she raced and lept against the door, focusing all of her weight against the push bar just as the main glass doors were slammed open behind.

Panic and adrenaline rushed the shadowed form down the side alley and into the maze of Gotham City. In her panicked state, confusion and grief numbed all other senses, she wasn't aware of the curious dark figure watching from atop Wayne Tower.

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 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Edited 6.21.19**


	2. Chapter 2

****Chapter 2: Prologue****

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The rain splattered onto the sidewalk and the girls's shoes sloshed from being pulled her heavy rain jacket pulled over her shoulders, pulled tight against the outside weather. Finally, she turned into her home and reached into her back pocket for a bronze key.

 _Click._

The old oak door swung open and Alyssa breathed a sigh of relief. Home.

She smiled, hung up the dripping coat and dropped her backpack on the floor. In a moment, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion, taking in the quiet house.

"Mom?"

Usually she was home in the kitchen trying recipes. She wasn't great at cooking, but outside of her busy lawyer life, it's how she was able to burn off steam from work. Normally, her mom went in early and made it out of meetings to get home in time to greet Alyssa. It was just the two of them and they grew closer after her dad disappeared four years ago..

She snapped out of her thoughts and walked into the kitchen to look for a note. Mixing bowls laid out across the kitchen island and suddenly a choking smell hit Analise, she quickly grabbed oven mitts and raced to the oven. Acrid, blacked _somethings_ lay smoking on a tray and Alyssa promptly tossed everything into the sink, waving her mitts in the air at the same time to clear some of the escaped smoke.

Beginning to feel as though something was really _really_ wrong, she called out again hesitantly, "Mom?"

Nothing responded, just the creaking of a settling house. She bit her lip, anxious. It wasn't like her mom to just disappear like this, she took a deep breath, fighting off tears, thinking of her dad and the horrible night that he- no.

Slowly, she walked up the stairs and down a dark hallway, lined with pictures and memories. Her green eyes glinted in the reflection from a cracked door's light. Alyssa walked towards the door.

"Hello? Mom?"

Again, no response.

Her chest began to hurt and she slowly pressed her palm against the wood of the door, it swung in a few inches.

Alyssa screamed and staggered backwards, hands pressed tightly around her mouth. She backed into the hallway wall and slid down, legs buckling beneath her. Her footsteps stained the carpet below in red. What she hadn't seen in the dark hallway was a path of deep blood leading to the motionless body in the bedroom.

"No…no..no…" Alyssa gasped, light headed and numb, she shook her head, recognizing her mother.

A whimper escaped as she began to cry, "Please be a dream… _please_ ," she hissed hysterically.

From down the hallway, another door creaked, "This isn't a dream."

Alyssa scrambled to her feet and raised her hands in defence, her ragged breaths and sobs echoed in dark hallway. A clown face glinted in the doorway, a scarred smile permanently etched on his countenance.

"Hello."

For a moment, Alyssa simply blinked in disbelief, the shock of finding her mother's body had slowed down her instincts to _run_ while she stared back at the crazed maniac clown. The man-monster took a step towards her and when she gasped, she immediatly choked on the thick stench of blood.

"You-you killed my mom." she said monotonously.

The clown laughed and met her gaze, "Yes, she had to go."

Alyssa gaped and closed her eyes, "This isn't real, this isn't real, this is a nightmare, please wake up. _Please wake up!"_ She swung her fist into the wall and screamed, hands finding themselves tangled in her hair.

The clown took a step towards her, then lunged forward to grab her wrists. Alyssa backed up suddenly and fell to the floor, trying to get out of the man's reach. She screamed and kicked up, catching one of his knees. He grimaced then smiled down at her, "Are you going to be a good girl?" Alyssa scrambled backwards, towards the stairs, as she turned, her tear-blurred vision didn't see the second pair of hands that reached towards her, catching her around the waist and neck.

The hands found a knot of hair and yanked roughly back, exposing the flesh of her neck forward. A syringe sunk deep into her neck and will a quiet sob, Alyssa relaxed and fell back into the clown's waiting arms.

"Mom."

Consciousness suddenly slammed into Alyssa. She woke with a start and a pounding between her eyes. She absolutely ached and let out a low whimper. When she opened her eyes the first thing sher noticed was the utter lack of lights. Alyssa took a breath and waited for her eyes to adjust. They strained to make out a small warehouse looking storage room.

Cement floors and ominous chains and broken boxes littered across the floor.

She strained to move forward and explore her cell, something was holding her back. Turning her neck she noticed with surprise that her arms were chained above her head, forming a V. From the utter lack of sensation in her fingers running the entire length down to her shoulders, Alyssa figured that she had been waiting in the room a while.

In the distance, a soft dripping noise could be heard, crashing in the silence onto the cold floor below.

The air was breathing was moist and she still struggled to see clearly.

The headache thickened.

Then, a thick door opened. There was a loud creaking and whine, the heavy door scraping across the floor.

A pair of boots - no, two pairs - clicked and echoed as they grew nearer. Heavy breaths formed clouds that seemed to glow in the darkness.

Then, one lit a match, an eirie glow slashed across the clown's face. Alyssa stifled a whimper of fear at the sight. But she could help choking when the second figure's face was illuminated in the darkness.

Lex Luther.

Her heart seemed to skip and stop momentarily, being kidnapped by the Joker was one thing, but the fact that Lex Luther was involved cast a whole new blanket of seriousness onto the situation. If it was just the clown, Alyssa figured, at least she would be dead soon, probably used as an example, but her end was certain. On some level, she could almost accept the finality of a situation given no other solution. But for Lex Luther to come into play…

The men came closer. The light burned.

It was Alyssa that spoke first. "Why?" her voice broke, rough from the drugs and tears, "What have I ever done? What did my mother ever do?"

Lex Luthor just sneered and roughly grabbed her chin, snapping her head towards his. He looked her up and down critically.

He took a breath and, leaving his hand graspering her face, turned towards his unlikely companion. "For once, clown, I am impressed. She will do."

Alyssa didn't dare move.

The Joker began laughing hysterically. "Now, when does the fun begin?" He let out another giggle and danced towards the girl. He reached between Luther's arms and poked her square in the nose. "Boop."

Luther grimaced and released Alyssa, throwing her head back into the wall in the process. She saw stars momentarily and was about to question again what they wanted with her, she felt a needle sink into her arm.

Luther's eyes glinted in the firelight, Joker having relit a new match. He looked her in the eyes and finished the syringe.

"No!" The pain began to spread from her arm across the planes of her body. The fingers she hadn't even been able to feel a moment ago clenched in pain. Alyssa convulsed against the mall and tears rolled out of her eyes. Vaguely, Alyssa tasted metal.

"Clown, hold her still." Calloused hands wrapped around her head, preventing the girl from slamming it back against the wall too hard.

The pain only increased, but Alyssa felt as though her body was sliding away from her. Was she still standing? She didn't know anymore. There was nothing but the burning. The fire that licked even her insides clean. She was vaguely reminded of her history course freshman year. What had they been learning about? Oh right, ancient mythologies. There was this one creature, a phoenix, that burned and was reduced to ashes before being born again. But, Alyssa thought, that would mean she would have to live.

Her screams echoed off the walls and Alyssa was no longer aware of her company, observing the girl writhe in pain and sink to the floor, only suspended by the chains around her wrists.

There was nothing left.

Ashes. Ashes.

A giggle escaped her lips as the ground flowed towards her and the walls swam, bending and curving. Her arms were curiously below her now, and she thought for a moment that perhaps they had simply fallen off. She couldn't quite find it in her to care.

"It's working. They won't know what hit them."

She listened to their laughs as white overtook all senses. Nothing.

A final sense of weightlessness and a final prick behind the ear.

We all fall down.

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 **Pretty please review! I'm pretty excited to bring this story back with updated and LONGER chapters!**

 **Thanks!**


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